the mystery shields are in place.

I deactivated my facebook for the last time (although, i have done so many times before); it must be done for a good long time while 

1. I need to finish this semester's workload.
2. I rely too much on my communication with friends to keep up the good mood.
3. I wait for him to sign on and speak to me.
4. I don't write enough. 
5. Where is my point of view?

So much of what I like is based on what my friends have liked, I just want to be able to make my own decisions. I don't want to wear my heart on my sleeves any longer.  When he and I broke this off, I remember writing I have had my fill of love...

I would rather be alone meandering through these thorny tangles of thought than cling to those beautiful meadows, which I have only seen glimpses of. I will no longer ask someone to walk these roads with me, or to plead with them to see as I do. Silly me.

I am antiquated and a square.  Cold and frigid, as he once teased.

That doesn't mean that I want to separate myself from people; I figure if anyone really wishes to get into contact with me they will find a way.  I would rather work toward finding a niche where I can be diligent and see the fruits of my labor.

I want to create myself, not be overwhelmed with all the choices.